The Night Before Kindergarten
He started school a few weeks ago and I wrote this post the night before…he has had a really good couple of weeks and loves school 🙂
His backpack is ready, his clothes are picked out. I walk up to his room and watched as he slept. My “baby.” My youngest boy. He starts kindergarten tomorrow. How could this be? He is the baby of this trio of boys and now he too will be spending his days in elementary school.
On this night before kindergarten, all I can think about is how our family is starting the next phase of our lives. We are closing a very big and important chapter. One that we will never open again. We are saying goodbye to the preschool years once and for all. From now on, if my little guy is home, his brothers are too since they all go to the same school. From now on, I won’t have a little buddy to run to the store with, to take on a playdate in the middle of the day, to spend those extra moments with just him.
Because of the ages of my boys, I have always had this precious alone time with all three of them. When my oldest started preschool, I was home with my middle son. When he started preschool, I was home with the baby. But all that time is over now. Now, our house is in full school mode. All the boys will have homework, they will all have reading logs, they will all have school books, backpacks, and paperwork about fundraisers and school events.
As I watch my sleeping 5-year-old I am reminded of when he was born. He was so much younger than my other two. I felt like I was starting over having a four-year gap. I had to remember how to do the baby stuff all over again. I knew that someday they would all be at school. I knew that the day would come. But now that day is really here. The day they will all be school aged children and my emotions are all over the place.
As I stood there watching this little kindergarten boy sleep, I am reminded of all the days our family has been through. The baby days. The toddler days. The preschool days. The days when it seemed like each one rolled into another. The days filled with changing diapers and baby food. Of pushing my stroller babies and meeting up with friends at 10am on a Monday morning. The days that are behind us now and will just be a part of our memories.
As I look ahead, I see my boys growing older and older. I only have about 7 years left before my oldest will leave our home. 7 years is not very much time. We have lived in our current city almost as long. And yet, when I look back on all the years, as quickly as time has gone, those years have been filled with so much childhood. So many moments with my boys as they tried to figure out the world around them.
But tomorrow, this “baby” child of mine is going to get on the bus with his big brother. He is going to turn around and wave and give me a smile. He is going to be a little nervous I know, but I also know he will do great. And I am going to watch that bus pull away and I know I am going to cry. I am going to walk back to my silent house and remember all those years we had together and look forward the ones to come. I know we might be starting a new chapter, but this one is just as good and everything is going to be okay.