The Truth About Marrying in Your 20s
I think I got married at a “young” age. I was 23. I had just graduated from college. My husband was 25, almost 26. We dated for a little over a year.
Before I met my husband I had a plan. College, then marriage. I knew I had to get that degree before I would walk down the aisle. I met my husband my senior year and we got engaged after my graduation party.
We are 37 and 41 now. We are literally growing old together and I love doing that with him. Life right now is very different than our dating and early marriage years were. We have three children, a dog, different jobs and a mortgage. Sometimes we do get that extra special time together we once had and we make the best of those moments.
When I got married I was one of the first in my circle of high school friends. Some of them didn’t get married until we were in our 30s. Some are still not married. I started having children when I was 25, some just started their families in the last couple of years.
As I look back to my young 23-year-old self I can’t help but wonder what life would have been like had I been 33 when I got married. I met my husband when I was 22. He was such a big part of my 20s. He and I grew through those years together and now heading into our 40s together.
I didn’t spend my 20s going out on dates with a lot of people. I didn’t have a lot of time alone. I finished college and started working but then almost as soon as I did we combined our finances as we were getting married soon after. For most of my post-college adult life, I have been a wife and mother. I have had other people to think about, other people depending on me.
Had I waited until my 30s to get married, I would have had most of that decade on my own. To spend my money the way I wanted. To go where I wanted to go. To explore and try different things.
I know all of this and at the end of the day, I am okay with not having experienced it. I am happy that I spent most of my 20s getting to know my husband and becoming a mother, something I always wanted to be. My 20s were filled with figuring out who I was, changing diapers and playing with toddlers.
Being a Young Mom
Not everyone who marries young becomes a mom at a younger age. Some young marrieds wait longer than we did. We had been married about two years and two months when our son made us a family of three. Looking at photos of myself from those days, I see a much younger version of the type of mom I am today. I have learned so much about being a mother, about being an adult and being a good human since then. I had my oldest at 25, my middle son at 27 and my youngest at 31. I will be about 50 years old when he graduates from high school.
Growing Old Together
My husband and I are growing old together right as we speak. We are no longer the young 20-year-olds we once were. We have done so much together over the last 15 years. We have seen part of the world, had three boys, bought a house, worked through difficult situations and laughed together over the years. I am excited to see where the next few decades will take us. As we grow older into new stages.
When you get married in your 20s you are growing through that time together. For better or for worse. This time of your life you are going to discover who you are as a person and sometimes that can be hard if you are already a spouse. You can see yourself changing and you see your spouse changing and for the marriage to work, you both have to be able to figure out how to grow together through that.
I knew I would marry my husband the moment I met him. It was the right time for us and I wouldn’t have life any other way. I will take the good and the bad that came with marrying at age 23. I am thankful for our marriage and looking forward to future years together too.